Get It Right???!!!

what have i done?
i wish i could run,
away from this ship going under
just trying to help
hurt everyone else
now i feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders

what can you do when your good isn’t good enough
and all that you touch tumbles down?
cause my best intentions
keep making a mess of things,
i just wanna fix it somehow
but how many times will it take?
oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right, to get it right?

can i start again, with my fate shaken?
cause i can’t go back and undo this
i just have to stay and face mistakes,
but if i get stronger and wiser, i’ll get through this

what can you do when you’re good isn’t good enough?
and all that you touch tumbles down?
cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,
i just wanna fix it somehow
but how many times will it take?
oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?

so i throw up my fists, throw a punch in the air,
and accept the truth that sometimes life isn’t fair!
yeah, i’ll send down a wish and i’ll send up a prayer
and then finally someone will see how much i care

what can you do when you’re good isn’t good enough?
and all that you touch tumbles down?
cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,
i just wanna fix it somehow
but how many times will it take?
oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?

 

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Some how I can relate to this song above....

 

Need to try and stand on my own two feet and stay by not running away.... but sometimes people just need to be saved.....

 

I have tried finding my own solace place(i don't even know whether this context is even correct) to rebound from all that has been happening... "Feeding on other people's happiness"?? Who the heck am I kidding myself? At first it was ok... but after a while, it began to hit me... hard!!!!

 

I'm not at all ok.... I missed all those times when I was in that situation... mooning over something, being happy and in love...not to forget, each moment counts during the progress of being in a relationship...Feeling envious is just the tip of my sad ~ sad life....

 

What I had planned for the past 5 years.... Poof.... vanished... Rage is still within me and nothing can stop that feeling for that one *tuut tuut tuut*.

 

There would be some moments that I just put myself out from my own shell and reflect back as I don't really like what I see. A very sad and lonely person. Am I being too careful until I forget to loosen up a bit?

 

What do I find being myself is too hard....? And instead I need to put on my poker face confront to people, and convince that everything is gonna be fine when it is not? I wish I can just turn back time and wack that person who gave me the empty promises and yank that balls of his.... No good @#%^&*()*&^%#@#$^&......

 

Now... I'm on a crossroads... to stay and face it... or to go and disappear(I've never done this one before)....? There is this guy.... I may really like this person... He has shown his empathy and care but i have no single clue what he is thinking about... Can never put my fingers on what he is up to....Or everything is just my imaginations.... Anyway.... I've just realized that I thought I've lost that emotional feeling until..... hehe... to be continued....