Monday 24 October 2011

No Sleep???!!!!

Babah's Birthday is in a week's time, and I don't even know what to get him..... There are times where I sat down by myself and look up at the sky, thinking how peaceful it is... It has been a long time since the last time I've ride a plane...I really wanted to board a plane and go off for a trip, on a holiday..... I really think that for these past few weeks, I have been stressful and under pressure...

Not to mention, Alhamdulillah, it has been so long since the last time I encountered of those "medium-thingy".... Until recently... Came in the dark, during times that I was about to go to sleep..... figured like a man, I can only see it is in black figure, not able to see it's face...I realized that my heart pounded very hard each time I encounter this thing.... *scaaaa-ryyy* I have always kept Him in mind, never to loose sight, pray to him for comfort......


This song is by Wang Lee Hom - Xin Tiao.... I felt it is speaking how I'm doing right now... I hope as time past on... I'll heal too...

Monday 17 October 2011

My Prayers ~ Enraen Haferr

I hope you find your way tomorrow
I wish you well and have a safe journey home
I wish for the best on facing your obsticales
I pray for your success in life
"You can do it...Good luck.... I'm all the way with ya", somehow fate will be on your side
No matter how hard it is, you will know people will always have faith on you....
I know you can.... I know you can....

For every beginning must come to an end
And every ending enters there must be a paraphrase of new beginnings
But I know my prayers will not stop until I see you succeed
I must come to an end to make way for your new beginning
Watching from afar, I know you are in good hands
I will always be here within a single prayer...

~Enraen Haferr

Wednesday 12 October 2011

The feelings grew even stronger and I hate that feeling....

Hmmm... where do I begin?
I had fun going for the holiday trip with a bunch of friends....
It was merry and happy and jolly and .... Summing it up....it was wonderful....
Too bad that I do not have any pictures to share with you just yet since I requested for one of my friends to take pictures for them in this trip......

Anyway.... As everything goes well, I find myself not being able to express myself in words.... Last night was the climax of this whole trip, suddenly urges of sad feeling, upset, and  numbness sinks in. I was OK at first when one of my ex agents came by to join. As soon as he went home, it struck me... and suddenly I was feeling a gush of emotions holding me on a standstill. I set my self to the side, sat on the pavement, looking out to the sea.... Waves of tides coming in... My mind wondered around...

At that point on, I was having a monolog and 'what if' moments inside my head... I remembered that I was actually visualizing the possible scenario when it comes to stand up and voice out about how I actually felt for this one guy. I hate saying this but I really thought I was having a irrational crush on the guy....and then something happened and everything changed. As normal and used to be, I walked away and never looked back. There were a few hiccups here and there, arguments and misunderstandings, but it was manageable.

I thought I'm over it.... I thought it was done.... I thought I had already convince myself that thing would never ever be the same that I have to move on....But boy, was I wrong about that. The feelings grew even stronger and I hate that feeling....