Saturday, 4 June 2011
All are b/sh!t !!!!!!!!
Why do I find myself being stuck somewhere I don't really know how to describe it....? I reminded myself to always have a positive mind about things, including relationships. Sometimes, people around me always say that it all depends on fate and God's will, a little hope and a battle to fight. I have always been the one who let all the good fishes go and let fate decide everything for me. I honestly say that I hated it.... I really hated it.....I'm always the one who are invisible around the people I care about.... (or so to speak)...
I looked around me, listening to other people's struggles and hardship, at the end of their journey, ending up together and happy. Always feeling envious and jealous of the blissful moments that I seek all these time. I know it is not right to force things to be in perspective but it does open my eyes and make me look the other way.... Being in denial is one thing, being completely ignored is another.
Somebody once said in one of the blogs, 'apply "it will return to u in short time" '.... I find that amusing because it feels like I've been pranked by fate.... "Not to give up and always be stay positive" <~I used to say these things to other people because there are time that they, themselves need hope to stay strong during rough times. But it totally doesn't work on me....none at all. I've tried but I'm tired lying through my teeth about these things. All emotions such as loneliness, heart broken, down, unmotivated, routine and robotic, etc.....are clearly overwhelming.....*sigh*....
Whenever I find myself liking a guy, it will definitely ends up: he likes another girl, or he is eyeing for someone particular and ask for my help, I became his safety net if things were to happen , or the worst one, hell become my buddy as my job to hook them. Then, talking about my competition, they usually are unbeatable. One thing in common for all the situations I went through, guys go for their looks and figures. Chicks will always know how to convince/communicate to guys in doing things out of the ordinary....They also became all goo-gooed eyes and lovey-dovey all of the sudden whenever they are with their partners.... I won't deny that I use to be that way, nature's will...what can I say.... but it does rub on me and get me all irritated, especially when that guy knows I like him as he shows off.
Whatever may come my way next time, I really wanna say, "hey boy, look my way, I'm here, you know....!!!! Did I ever tell you that I fancy you? But you didn't and won't give the time of day to look my way, so I kept everything to myself, what do you care...You won't be mine anyway... there's the door, you can let yourself out, bye bye!!!" It definitely changes everything....
Talk about feelings...*scoff*. That person, by far, ignored me as he will always eyeing for somebody else....I'll always be the one to bare it all....(Boys, you know who you are.... if you keep up with all you dirty games and unneccessary relationships, you should be ashamed of yourself.....Better stop before you get caught...you're not 16yo anymore, for God sake!!!) So, readers... let me ask you this... if you were is this kind of position, what would you do?
Posted by Unknown at 19:26:00