Hmmm... I wonder how life turn into a spinning wheel... There are times that we are at the top and sometimes we are at the bottom of the pit. Today, I found out that one of my friends faced such difficult situation where he was conned about $40k by a person who had presented with a legitimate and legal documents for some sort of a tender/job.... the end of the day only to find out that the person he dealt with ran off with his cold hard cash and left with nothing. That is a very expensive lesson to be learned. Only that this time, it was the wrong step he took that lead to such guilty decision. I felt sorry for him and felt helpless not able to lend a hand.
That is one situation, I have another situation.... I find myself feeling upset and relieved at the same time. It was like when I was in college, I use to like this person so much that we were comfortable with each other.....Then I found out that he likes this gurl in our class and ask me if I could help him woo her.... and dumb enough I did.... I kept telling myself, "it is all worth it....besides, its gonna be ok...." Boy, who was I kidding at that point... As I helped him out.... I couldn't express the painful feeling of tormented by watching this person I care most was wooing another gurl....
I kept myself off radar, lay myself low... almost invicible......I avoided seeing him then as he began to realize that he was seeing less and less of me......He did approach me once to ask me what was going on.... avoiding him and such.... I kept quiet and walk out on him.....I remembered that his bestfriend used to come and approach me to ask me the very same question, I told him what was going on.....I learned during that time, his friend felt he had lost me completely.....What can I say at that point of no return..... I did feel like I was in the way....and so, I kept my distance for a while longer until I came to find out he graduated and moving back to his hometown....
We kept in touch on and off, ond and off... for straight 7years until he stopped calling me after finding out I had hooked up with someone from the office. I didn't realize that it was also a big impact on him. Several years went by, then I received a phone call from him after a long time, he was in the east Malaysia....He was getting engaged.... He called me to deliver this news on the engagement day itself. I broke down cried and congratulate him..... I was shocked....Finally he was heading down the aisle.... He invited me to his wedding, which was in 1 months time.... I had decided not to go.... I was happy for him, but not strong enough to see him on the Wedding Throne....He called me before and after his solumnization(Akad Nikah).... I literally cried, gave him all the all the support I can.... and that was it.....The longest crush I had to a guy....
Then.... after a long time.... I came to realize, I can never trust any other person as much as I trust him.... Even though a lot of rough patches on trusting anybody(male), I kept everything to myself... each and every decision that was done, I took risks on fulfilling the requirements.... I layed everything on risk and instincts.....not to mention, trying to heal myself on trusting people.....I think everybody deserves to be given a chance on trying again and succeeding......
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